the end of the begining of the end...

this is it guys. we knew this time would come that's why ivan and i decided to share a blog. we are both lazy and knew that if we had individual blogs, we would not have been able to sustain it ourselves. what we didn't count on, was both of us being lazy together and at the same time. sheesh!

to be fair, we both have recently been very consumed with life. I with my daughter's pri 1 registration and work & he with his family.

more and more, i find myself reacting to the moment. a pawn to those around me. i've always liked spontaneity, but this is ridiculous! everytime i make plans, i'm hit with a whopper and suddenly i'm off tangent and no longer in control. just 2 days ago, i finally had an excuse to go out after work. while browsing, mom calls and said that monkey boy had hit his head and blew chunks. annoyed that my "me time" was being eaten into, i said just observe him, he should be fine. 10 mins later, she calls again, said that he had thrown up 3 more times. i flew home. the boy was almost lifeless when i saw him. straight away, i took him to emergency.

i was angry with myself for being selfish about "my time". i was angry that i was annoyed that my life (as i had planned it) was being interrupted. (plus I was also grumpy coz i didn't have my dinner yet.) in my mind, i was the worst mother in the universe for not caring for my youngling!

anyways, it turns out that he did not knock his head but was experiencing a headache (which lasted for 2 days). also he did not have a concussion but was down with a bad case of stomach flu. he continued to wrench at the hospital and only stopped after a jab to the thigh. by the time i got home, it was past midnight. and that was the beginning of my night duty. three days on, he is now fine and back to being his silly self. and my adventure (called life) continues.

ps - i dunno what's up with me using parentheses in this entry but my thoughts feel very layered today. (and just to be annoying) parentheses' have nothing to do with being parents. go to www.dictionary.com people! and learn something new today!

father's day

last friday my girlfriend reminded me that sunday was father's day. she asked if i had anything prepared for the hubster. sheepishly i said no, then thot that he didn't need a pressie to remind him that i was the one who endured labour for a total of 42 hours (collectively) only to have all the kids say dada first. why does he deserve to be celebrated, when a career woman like me has to rush home from work everyday to be the bitch of the castle, ordering the kids to have dinner and wash up while he saunters in at 9-some only to be their best friend.

we both didn't have father figures while we were growing up so there was no reference point for us to measure if he was on the right track. his instinct kicked him good and hard when angel-girl was born. by the time we had the 2 boys, he was an old hand in the game. he could parent with his eyes closed (and lying in bed) which he does on the saturday mornings while i'm at work.

superglue moments aside, he IS a good father. he may not make the best husband but i couldn't ask for a better partner in raising our kids. he is a one-man-creativity-machine-cum-human-tampolene. the kids love him to bits, not just mine, all kids. he lets them run wild and knows when to pull them back. they listen to him coz he listens to them and gives them respect. while i am caught up with the day to day, trying my darnest to be super mom, he has built a relationship with each and every one of them. now that deserves some credit.

smoke and mirrors

this is an excerpt from an email banter between my girlfriend and me. she said,

"....mirrors, how they can be deceiving!! i wore this blouse that looks so good on me except for that tiny gap in at my bosom (this is at the shop) the more expensive, the more flattering ....the mirror you think??

but today in my mirror I look fat and the gap looks bigger! is it me or the mirror? the woman in this mirror is not amused!"

hasn't this happened to the best of us? victim to somehow convincing ourselves that the product is good for us. my take is if the product makes you FEEL good, buy it. Not if you think it makes you LOOK good, coz this is subjective ... subjected to how the audience judges the idea of looking good. and the audience can be so cruel.

yesterday, i bought a dress that's a sz 16. horror of horrors! i've never been a 16. i could have taken the 14 or even convinced myself that the 12 looked good but i didn't. coz i've come to realise that i'm a mom and i need comfort above all. who am i trying to kid! the 14 or 12 would have been sexier but it would not have been functional. i'm not so sure if it looks good but it sure as hell feels good, mirror or no mirror.

boys will be boys and men will be men

what a week! drama after drama unfolded on my unsuspecting 3-year-old and his anxious and frantic mother (aka me). first he got punched in the neck by a school mate which left him with a stiff neck for 2 days. when i called the school for them to "look into the matter", i found out that he was hit by a smaller kid who could not talk yet. so much for the interrogation process. no need for the good-cop-bad-cop routine. we had to drop the issue. not before my hubs teaches the boy to keropok back the next time he gets hit.

then on sunday he runs into the computer table and splits the skin at the ridge above his upper lip. Ex-vet assistant, the IVAN-NATOR said that the wound was deep and that he might need stitches. he said for a quick fix, we could use some superglue on the top just to seal the wound coz he's done this on animals before. i gave the knowing (are you MADDDDD) look and walked out of the room coz i needed to call the insurance agent to check on coverage. then the hubs goes to check on the damage and moments later, i hear the boy scream. i go into the room and lo and behold, there lay my child with superglue on his face. i'm just glad that the stapler gun was not in sight!

this is all following his 2 week Hand Foot and Mouth Disease fiasco we had last month and the conjuctivities allergic reaction where his eyeball nearly swelled out of it's socket. then of cause we experienced the popular stuck-in-the-toilet episode.

all that said, the boy is fine. unprompted, he thanks jesus every morning for healing him. i've heard that boys will get banged up and scratched and bruised but i wish to god that these adventures could just pace themselves out before i turn into a bald-chain-smoking-tequila-chugging-freak-of-nature.

we need new fans

in the mansion we call our home, the hubster was standing by the kitchen window while i was assessing blogs in the hall. surfing the quality blogs and seeing how many hits they get, i yelled across the dining area "honey, we need new fans". he yells back, "i totally agree." then i said,"it's not that the fans we have are bad, but i want more." he concurs, "yes more power." i said,"i'm not too interested in power, i just want to blow people away. there is nothing wrong with the ones we already have." he says,"but they are old!" i say,"no lah, we only started 2weeks ago. they are not old." needing to have the last word, he said,"it's time to move on."

then suddenly, it became obvious as he stood over the power blower on the floor that we were both talking abt different things. yes, we do need new fans coz the ones we have, have rusted over. but I also want to reach out to more people out there thru our humble blog. all said and done, i'm happy for the readers who do visit every now and then : )

ps ... like dan brown's da vinci's code ... this was written as fictional fact. the events may or may not have happened. it's up to the strength of your faith and what you want to belief. but all that said, would it hurt your faith sooo much (if you are catholic) if Big J did have a sex life? i mean honestly, while he was with us, he was MAN after all? ok, maybe he didn't have sex, bet he had that first kiss? i dunno, but i hope he did get to experience love, not in that die-on-the-cross kinda way but as innocent crushes.

rebel yell

for his 3rd bday, my son received a toy guitar
he plays with it everday, pretending to be a "rock star"

with low hung jeans and a grungy tee
not a doctor or a lawyer does he want to be

just a dude, with an attitude in tow
i know he can't wait to grow

to make music that's his plan
just him and his guitar .... playing a cool jam


thank you uncle B : )

the agony of da-feet

coming up with a name for this blog was damn agonising. like a beaten up salad, names were tossed relentlessly until giddy with choices, we decided on "shoes that fit". feet sz is something ivan and i love teasing each other abt. don't be fooled by the shoes that i've got... twinkle-toes has small feet while i have not.

i married the scorpio brother he was trying to get rid off coz he wanted his room back. so as revenge, we made him the godfather of our first born. now instead of just one scorp, he has to deal with 4 (I, my first and my 3rd kids are also scorp) ... THERE IS NO ESCAPE BRUDDER! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

i'm the sister he's never had, he's the brother i've always wanted .. and sometimes sister too. we are a brother and sister in-law combo. the BS team, if you will. i'm also the problematic over-thinker and he is the mama-beng. no disrepect to mothers or the local mafia but we got to represent. WORD!

you know how we are constantly looking for good footwear and how it's a damn shoik feeling when we find shoes that fit. we hope you find that same "steamer" experience as you read our mindless banter.

like it says in da blog, if the shoe fits, come back for more. don't be a stranger 'round these wood's ya'll hear!

ps - urrmmmmm, if you have your own blog, include us plssssss : ) we are trying to build a fan base and are not shy in asking for help.

batman gives good head

nothing is sacred anymore when your 6-month old grabs your favourite batman figurine and sticks it's head in his mouth like a teething ring. it's disrespectful to watch drool flow down the batsuit as his chubby hands angles his body for a better gnaw. his utility belt is nothing more than a source for a better grip. HOLY BABY-SPIT-IN-YOUR-FACE BATMAN!

instead of taking the god-forsaken toy away, i look on and snap a picture for timeless rememberance because the baby looks soo cute. i'll post it if you wanna see it : )

in walks my older son who is turning 3 next week. he looks on and asks me why the baby has "chickenman" in his mouth. i say, the hero is batman ... not chickenman. did i not teach my children respect?! still no effort is made in saving batman.

my 5-year old girl sits close-by. the baby finally drops the figurine and starts wailing. sensing trouble, she quickly jumps off her seat, reaches for the toy and sticks the leg back in his mouth. the baby re-adjusts and puts the head right where it belongs. the baby is happy again and all is good. once again, the dark knight saves the day.

the science of playing house

ever notice how no 2 people can hang clothes out to dry that meets the satisfaction of the next? hanging out wet laundry is a personal system. it's logic combined with physics that differs from person to person .. even in the same house. it irks me to no end when my mother visits and does my laundry. i always say, there can never, NEVER be 2 queens in a castle.

this goes the same with cooking. a pinch to me is 3 tablespoons to the other. a dollop is a cup. i like julien-ing my potatoes, you like cubing. i rather eat out!

then there is sweeping/ mopping/ vacuuming? there are 2 .. no 3 kinds of "cleaners". The SUPERFICIAL who cleans around furniture, The ANAL who needs to uproot everything and The CLEAN-ONLY-WHEN-GUESTS-ARE-COMING (who are SUPERFICIAL in their technique). I'm an ANAL cleaner but i'm also a good procrastinator and that is a whole new can of worms.

2's a crowd

lonely is as lonely wants to be. WRONG. you could be in a crowd or snuggling close and still feel lonely. being lonely is different from being alone. alone is a choice (a state of mind), lonely is how other's make you feel. once you rise above feeling lonely, then you can choose to be alone. some are uncomfortable with being alone while other's revel in it.

i love being alone, gives me time to think. working alone (not a team player), shopping alone (don't you hate it when you want to move on but can't?), eating/ watching a movie alone. i get time and space and that's the best gift. i need my space.

i'm a one man mind fuck. a term i just picked up from my significant other, who might i add, is also on top of his game in mind-fucking. like side-show freaks, we are. best done as a solo-effort but can also be done in a group. guess that'll be like a cranium gang bang. i dunno what it is about over-thinking that i find so addictive and yet so natural.

maybe it's becoz i always need to be 2 steps ahead so that i can be in control. and if i'm not in control, it just means that the subject matter is not worth my time (in thought). left to my own devices, i could probably screw myself over with my thoughts turning it inside out.

maybe this is a cry for help. maybe not. let me think abt it and get back to you.

final fantasy

some things are a constant. unexplainable, constant and universal. like what is it about blue jeans coupled with a white tee that makes a person irresistibly sexy? what is it about cold nights, that turns a normally frigid couple randy? what is it about the stale air pushing thru a hotel room air-con that shakes up the hormones? what is it about the cigarette after that is more satisfying than the cigarette before?

it's the fantasy of the perfect moment of passion and the satisfaction of realizing it. and for that moment ... size doesn't matter .... the size of the woman that is.

men who do not usually find larger women attractive are suddenly left smitten by the energy of a woman. a woman, lost in her fantasy is robust and out of character. in her fantasy, she's the hot chick dipped in confidence and glowing with spirit. irresistable and delectable. does size really matter? why not let the fantasy last and enjoy the larger woman even when the moment is over.

... excuse me while i have my cigarette after.

shallow ... are you there?

at the office, we were talking abt hidden talents. as a scorp, i said my hidden talent is overthinking. you know to over analyse a situation to death only to resurrect the thought again so that the same can be repeated but this time on a different tangent. many nights have gone unslept as i honed my secret talent.

one colleague, in a small voice, said her hidden talent is being shallow. now how shallow can a person be if they can admit to being shallow. this got me thinking (there i go again) how many people know that they have this secret talent? those who do not, have got it down to an art where they have become subliminally shallow. this is then a natural talent.

being shallow takes a lot of calculation and nerve. coz if you can pull off being shallow, and not appear shallow, by the powers that be ... BEING shallow - although nurtured - is then truly a talent.

i think everyone is shallow, nature or nurture. it's just a matter of how deep your shallow is. (cheem right ... think abt it).

gob-blog

if you are singaporean you'd be familiar with the term gob-blok (dunno how it's really spelt). yesterday, i had the toolan-est gob-blok moment of my life.

i'm usually an avid local investor (read TOTO player). isn't hitting the lottery the great singaporean dream? anyways, i have a special string of lucky numbers which i repeatedly buy ... to no avail. i also have a quirk where if the prize $$ is not double (ie no 1st prize winner so roll over sum) i don't want to buy coz don't want to "waste my luck".

which brings me to my toolan-est gob-blok moment. I did not buy last thursday where 5 of my lucky numbers kena. damn bang you know! we could have done with the extra moolah which was like 5 x the progess package i received and the money would have REALLY been free money!

ps - my fellow investor friend said that there is an unspoken rule where if you have special numbers, and don't buy, you should not check the results. NOW SHE TELLS ME! ... gob-blok!

fear ye fear ye

my paranoia(s) will be the death of me. i have a deep rooted fear for war (or being caught in a full out bloody combat). because of this, i carry a lighter in my bag always (if you watch survivor, you'll learn that the ability to make fire is like having godlike power). i figure fire will be a better trade than trying to sell my backside (which really isn't my best side) for food. i used to also carry a phone charger till i heard that in the event of a mass casualty incident, there won't be any mobile providers nor electicity. reality bites!

in my house, i have an anal folder of all the important documents that is deemed "valuable" in case i need to run out in a hurry. i shared this fear with my colleagues, all thot me weird of course. so i shot back and asked, incase of fire, what would YOU grab. most said photos and other family memorabilia. now i'm paranoid that i'm not interested about saving my past.

my great singaporean fear is credit card roll over. i rather live on water and dry crackers and suffer the consequence of a shopping spree than roll over the amount. but wat i really think it is, is that i refuse to let the banks earn the easy money.

then there is the usual fear of being lost at sea, lizards, flying, the supernatural, etc. but my biggest BIGGEST paranoia is the fear of losing the significant other. that would truly be the death of me.

PS ... the lighter is also handy to light the "randomly occational" cigerette, burn off loose threads, light birthday candles at surprise parties, to show support during a slow rock ballad at a concert.

kamikazi wasa-beh

had japanese for lunch and ODed on wasabi
my brain is on fire ... slightly numb on the right side ... but that's fine
i just found out that i'm going to be hauled into a 4 hr meeting after lunch!
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND calls for a 4-hr meeting after lunch!
but i digress ... the dull throb in the head will keep me awake
.... hopefully.....

sayonara