2's a crowd
lonely is as lonely wants to be. WRONG. you could be in a crowd or snuggling close and still feel lonely. being lonely is different from being alone. alone is a choice (a state of mind), lonely is how other's make you feel. once you rise above feeling lonely, then you can choose to be alone. some are uncomfortable with being alone while other's revel in it.
i love being alone, gives me time to think. working alone (not a team player), shopping alone (don't you hate it when you want to move on but can't?), eating/ watching a movie alone. i get time and space and that's the best gift. i need my space.
i'm a one man mind fuck. a term i just picked up from my significant other, who might i add, is also on top of his game in mind-fucking. like side-show freaks, we are. best done as a solo-effort but can also be done in a group. guess that'll be like a cranium gang bang. i dunno what it is about over-thinking that i find so addictive and yet so natural.
maybe it's becoz i always need to be 2 steps ahead so that i can be in control. and if i'm not in control, it just means that the subject matter is not worth my time (in thought). left to my own devices, i could probably screw myself over with my thoughts turning it inside out.
maybe this is a cry for help. maybe not. let me think abt it and get back to you.
Labels: captain carlos, me
posted by shoesthatfit @ 9:54 PM
1 Comments:
wonder why you have no comments on this? i think everybody thought you wanted to be left alone.
First off, i have a difference of opinion about feelings in general. let's not touch on the extremes, like someone holding a gun to your head.
In Everyday stuff, we choose the emotions we feel. we could feel angry with a person who is rude to us, or we could feel indifferent, we could feel humoured, or we could feel pity even.
i think, feeling lonely is being unhappy about not feeling a part of the people around you, physically or otherwise. But if somebody said 'I feel so alone' it brings to mind the same description.
so, to me, feeling lonely and feeling alone mean the same thing in some context.
When someone says, 'I love being alone' they could mean they like feeling unhappy. There are some of those out there.
But I tend to think they enjoy their own company. I know I do. I'm pretty kind and indulgent to myself. I share the same interest. I like the same music. I'm an all round nice person. what's there not to like about myself.
for a long time I did think I was a loner but have since realised that's not true. I am happy to stay at home by myself, that is true. but when i go out, i want to socialise. I want to meet and interact with other people. I don't go out to eat alone or watch a movie alone. I want to do these things with other people. I like meeting new people, even if i erase them from my memory 30secs after meeting them. ok, i do like to go shopping alone but when i choose to have or go with friends, its the company i want and shopping is just the activity.
most of us feel a little bit of this and a little bit of that at different times in our lives.
You could even feel alone and lonely when the people around you are constantly pulling at your time and attention. ????
I'll comment on overthinking another time if I may?
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