bonding experience

daniel craig is my favourite bond. this man can do no wrong. he is impeccable in a suit and looks just as yummy without one. that alone is a visual buffet.

hubs and i were watching "the world is not enough" last night starring pierce brosnan and boy did it look B-grade. we were rolling our eyes at the stunt sequences and the dialogue etc. but the new bond franchise ... wow!

this is what bond is about. this is exactly what i wanted bond to be and more. sexy, confident, indestructible, suave, empowered, street smart and totally unpredictable. heyyyy ....wait a minute .... i think bond is a scorp!

oh christmas tree

AG : dada, when are we setting up our xmas tree
hubs : we're not
AG : WHAT!!!! whhhhyyyyyy ....
hubs : we don't set up our xmas tree on even years.
AG : huh?
hubs : last year was 2007, an odd year, thats why we had the tree. this year is 2008 so no tree.
AG : awwww man ... we have to wait for next year to set up the tree?
hubs : yup.
AG : *pout*

of course i chipped in with the teasing as well. how do you resist screwing with your child's mind like that ... hahahahha

snakes and ladders

pregnancy is a time for joy and excitement but many people are making it hard for me to shift into gear. the most common statement i've heard in the last month is "so wasted ah, that you are pregnant. after you worked so hard to lose weight, now you have to put on again."

at first i laughed it off and even joked back but then these insensitive remarks have became incessant. and instead of people congratulating me, it was like they were offering me pity.

i feel like i've been playing snakes and ladders and i'm up to square 99, got bitten by the snake and now i'm back down to zero. and since i champion rebirth, i'm all set to climb again but every move i make takes me back to zero. how cruel is that.

i do think abt the weight i've lost and i'm making mental notes to remind myself to not be anal abt it and just go with the flow with this pregnancy. i'm paranoid about the return of my 2 nemesis(s) ... terrible thunder thighs and the dreaded double chin. hubs, who has been amazing, keeps reminding me to block these out and enjoy myself.

this baby is changing me in a way my other 3 kids didn't. there are smells that i am so sensitive to and food that i absolutely cannot stomach. i also don't feel pretty (not a low esteem thing) just that i don't find the pleasure in make-up anymore. nor am i interested in dressing up or creating looks. nada.

so life goes on. i look forward to happier times. xmas may be just the thing to excite me again. i'm sure once the family whips out the feng and devil's curry, i'll be all good : )

who's the boss?

it's strange breaking out of diet mode. i'm having a lot of difficulty focusing on what i can and should be eating. the good news is that i still have had no craving to eat rice or chocolate yet. so i haven't satisfied my crave for nasi lemak - i like the idea of eating it, but don't feel the need to indulge. sigh ... tho i'm sure the need will come eventually.

i've been eating bread and noodles for my carb intake which has been very satisfying, i must say. and i'm still keeping to the priciples of the diet with eating lots of veg and fruit. this child is spawn of a healthy lifestyle.

the other day, i wanted to have a curry puff. a hot, crispy and savoury sardine curry puff. the moment i opened the bag, the smell of the puff put me off big time. but i REALLY wanted to eat it so i said,"you are not the boss of me you little person!" and i ate it. then 2 minutes later, the little person threw a tantrum which had me blowing chunks. "Ya-ah *z-snap* i am SO the boss of you, you better believe it!"

overwhelmed

i confess, i've purposely not blogged for weeks as i struggled with the realisation of a new life. i was 4 kg from goal when hubs and i found that we have a bun in the oven.

my first reaction was fervent upset. i was angry that i had come so close to triumphantly finishing something that i had worked so hard for, only to have it end abruptly and not on my accord. suddenly, i am hungry every 3 hours, suddenly i need more calcium in my body, suddenly, i need to eat more carbs coz the metabolic rate has accelerated. i hated it. i had no control over my being. i was being selfish. i couldn't believe this was happening again! i couldn't see the joy of the miracle of life. i was just thinking of me. selfish little me.

hubs was overjoyed. the moment he found out, he told everyone. i on the other hand, waited days before i broke the news, even to my mother.

then i told myself, that baby can feel this negative energy and this is really not how i want it to be welcomed in this world. i also had to will myself to snap out of this rut coz when i was preggers with bu, i went into major antenatal depression and i swear it wasn't fun. i was crying for no reason and sad all the time. plus i had to juggle work and the kids. it was emotionally tuff.

so here i am, finally brave enuf to share the happy news. finally accepting that the baby is a blessing and that i am ready to love a new little person. to tell you the truth, i really wouldn't mind another child, i just want to by-pass the pregnancy bit. ohhhh, my body is too old for this ride. baby is due in july, a cancerian. good for keeping the peace in our den of scorps :) like i said, a blessing.

AG wants a girl but is now thinking twice coz she does not want to compromise having the privacy of her own room. MB doesn't really care, being the diplomat that he is, he wouldn't mind a half and half ... whatever that is. And Bu, who has never had the privy of seeing me with child, wants me to give birth to a car - a fast car.

i'll keep you posted.

PS - so what was that question abt the sex improving again?