breaking out of prison

ok ... i like this guy but i think it may end with this clip. i cringed. then i looked away. then i looked again (looks like a good kisser, hmmm) ... but damn this ad is cheesy.

how could they do this to my one special fantasy. they've taken the single thing that my hormones were hanging on to. he is no longer drool-wentworthy *throwing hands in the air*

gawd-all-mite-teh ... ah have seen deh lite ya'll ... ah-lay-loo-yah!!

.... they lost me when they handed him with towels and soap for the conjugal. anyway, found out it's actually a (bad) edit from a short movie that WM did called "the confession".

angels and the devil

ANGELS
today i decided that if it continues to pour, i'll skip mass. but if the rain stops, i'll haul all 3 kids and fly solo mio. the rain stopped at 9am. god was testing me. i was at crossroads. i looked to the heavens for a second then started the ardious task of washing up the kids and putting myself together. made it out of the house - 3 kids and a pram - at 10:25. all through the 4 mins taxi ride, i was praying for patience to manage the kids in church.

we got to church during the homily. causing a commotion as we got in, the parish turned to look at us. i took all their tiny hands and dunked it in the holy water for the sign of the cross. then quickly ushered the kids to the emtpy pew at the front row. i did not make eye contact with anyone. again, i prayed for patience as i took my seat.

the kids were angels. i swear, the best. singing and sitting and standing at the right time. paying attention. i couldn't have asked for more.


DEVIL
while i was ironing, he turns and asks,"have you put on weight?" love the honestly dude ... but timing is everything.

conversations

AG : mummy, where are you going
Me : for my wax
AG : can i come
Me : no
AG (pleading) : i want to come. please take me with you. i promise to be good. i won't disturb the aunty. please mummy please.
Me : ok. but you need to take a bath and brush your teeth.
AG : *thinks for a while* ahhhh ... nevermind lah. you go. i'll see you later.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(the next day)

MB : mummy where did you go yesterday morning?
Me : i went for my wax
MB : show me
Me : nooooooooo
MB : it's ok, we are in a taxi. only uncle will see
Me : nooooooooo
AG : just show him your armpit lah
Me : *blushing glare* ..... (while uncle sniggers in the front)
AG : it's true MB, she went for the wax yesterday, i saw when she was napping. no more hair. she's not bluffing.
Me : *can the taxi not drive fast enuf*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

hubs : i've been carrying condoms in my bag for 3 days now
Me : do you feel safe
hubs : i feel protected
Me : that's always a good feeling

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

btw, our sofa really does look like that (big and red) but rest assured that hubs and i do not own matching canary yellow undies. we just ain't kinky that way.

letting sleeping dogs lie

is the grass really greener on the otherside? it's important to make a decision and pick a side. do not sit on the fence.

always pick a side. black or white. grey is not encouraged. but what abt pink? which goes brilliant with grey.

why is telling the truth so difficult. because lying is too much fun.

my hubs lies a lot. he lies in bed, in front of the tv, on the floor, on the couch. the lying bastard! zzzzzzzzzzzz

is sleep a waste of time. there is so much more i can accomplish if i woke up early and slept late. but then i end up tired but i would have accomplished heaps. but would i remember any of it?

my take is grass should be smoked without deliberation - hahahaha. i should sleep early - not!. i think i'll wear my pink shirt with my grey skirt tomorrow.

btw ... i'm really craving a fat juicy hoggie.

ET and me

watched ET on TV today and it was a thrill. the kids got sucked into it as i did when i was a kid. i tell you, elliot really rocked my boat back then. he tooted my horn for the longest time (then it was chachi/ charles - i swear charles could be in charge of my days and my nights anytime!!).

anyways, when elliot leaned in to gently kiss that classmate, it was as tho i was there. baby love. and precious little drew barrymore. how cute was she! and c thomas howell before he had chest hair. man the movie sure brought back fond memories. and i lapped it up.

the year ET was made, the licence plates in singapore started with ET. which was a thrill for the kids in the neighbourhood as we used to count the ET cars.

i remember owning a red (elliot) hoodie coz elliot had one. my aunt worked in a toy store and had a really good deal on a bmx bike (of course mine came with trainer wheels) and tassels at the handles.

thanks dee for the sms alert : ) ET phone home y'all

intropective

found myself not as strong as i thot i was today. i've been managing cases for 6 years and don't usually let my emotions get the better of me. i always draw my line with work. today, i had a case that for some reason, affected me in a big way.

i have not had this feeling for a long time. i couldn't help but get sucked in as this woman shared her experience. maybe it's coz it was a helpless mother's plea for help. i let the mother in me get the better of me.

i put myself in her shoes and was overwhlemed by her sorrow and strength. i would have been broken into many pieces if what had happended to her had happened to me. but she was calm as she related her concerns. collected and systematic as she spoke.

but her eyes ached. and for a moment, her voice quivered. and then my stomach churned and my knees went weak. and i felt like giving her a hug, but i'm not that kind of person. but for a moment, i wish i was coz i think it would have made a difference. i wouldn't wish anyone in her shoes. sigh.

+++++++++++++++++

see the pic. it's from gustav klimt one of my fave painters. love his work. his women are all opulant and strong but have a vulnerable side. thats how i feel right now.

???

i lied to mom today. i feel 6 years old. i told her i was working late. then i galavanted at the mall. stuck her with the 3 monkeys while i cruised my fave shops. i just needed time away.

the silver lining to this spree is that coz i'm (p)ms-ing, everything i tried on just looked funny and ill-fitting. so i din spend a cent. so technically, it was a non-spree.

but they don't call me "evil-lynn" for nothing. managed to entice T (da partner in crime) on some really good buys at topshop. actually, i didn't have to do much coz she already eye-ed a few stylish keepers. i merely gave her the little nudge she needed to commit :P

<< intermission >>
prison break season 2 in on tv now. almost forgot how yums WM is. ok people, i lied (again). this is not intermission. this is where i say g'bye. hubs is working late again tonight. i need some alone time to drool .... and J, don't roll your eyes. i dun care if he only has one expression, it's exactly that expression that keeps me glued! po-tay-to/ po-tah-to my friend.

erm, just in case you guys think this nightly blogging is going to last, think again. hubs event ends this weekend and we have a lot of catching up to do.

itchy back

i am abt ready to rip the flakey skin off my back! nobody warned me about this. like childbirth, everyone talked about the amazing fulfilling experience. no one prepared me for the pain of the first 6 months - sleepless nights, cow "morphestation", eye bags, hair falling, body not shinking as fast as i had anticipated, .

like i said, the tatt is gorgeous but this itch is driving me nuts.

dun worry, i've been "looning" the itch and smudging on the creme. it's prob the only part of my body that will not show any sign of aging when i'm 60 with all the moisturing i've been doing.

++++++++++++++

before i forget, this morning monkey boy asked for a box of apple juice at the hospital 7/11. after taking a few sips he said, "this is the juiciest apple juice mummy." : )

laws of da bLAWg

i just re-read fight club. personally, i think it's better than the movie. but the movie did put the book into perspective coz as i re-read the story, i actually had pitt's and norton's faces in my head. so feeling bad-ass and all, i've decided to remind people about the rules of the blog (erm actually, i don't have any rules. in fact i hate rules. but if fight club can have rules *8 to be exact*, so can i. i'm pms-ing goddamnit! I CAN have rules if i want to!)

rules of this blog
1# this is an anonymous blog ie do not reveal my or my family's name. if you choose to use your name or have your own nick name, that's fine. i'm cool widdit.



2# this is an anonymous blog ie DO NOT reveal my or my family's name or face the wrath of spider monkey boy. don't make him use his peanut slinging whatchamacallit web.

3# if someone has something to say, and doesn't have an outlet, it's ok to ramble in the comment option.

4# but keep it short. if you can't keep it short, keep it funny* else the other regulars can boo you off. (but we won't coz we are all community-loving people)

5# anytime, anyone beats da godma to the number 1 spot, you score brownie points! ie da godma will have to bake warm chocolate cake for the person and i get to eat too.

ok, 5 out of 8 ain't bad.

yeah baby, yeah!

i haven't seen hubs in over a week. never one for long distance relationships, i've found 2 men who have managed to satisfy my void. ben AND jerry - godsent for the pms-ing woman. these guys really know how to pleasure a woman, in more ways than one. they understand our need for comfort food. then they add cookie dough and fudge to make sure you go "ohhhhhh!"

Commentary

thanks every one who commented on my last blog. i was so excited after writing it, i sent out an sms blog alert to my fave people and what a coincidence! they were all online!! so the comment page became a message board of sorts in just mere seconds (ok more like minutes) it was late and we're all not as young and nimble.

*ps i also sent a subliminal alert out of state but i think only australia managed to decode the message.

comments from HOME include :
# hubs - my star looks irritated. i like it. *go figure*
# angel girl - your tattoo is nicer than dada's. yours pops out of your body *as would a fresh wound*
# monkey boy - offered a different take on the star arrangement. said AG is first borne so only 1 star. he is the second so he has 2 stars and baby has 3 tiny stars. * whatever rocks your boat sweetie*
# baby bu - mama mama mama mama
# mom - you finally got a tattoo! (pause) where's my star?

Star Struck

i got my tatt last night. friday the 13th. done on a spur of the mo, thanks to T who very randomly at 8am smses me while i'm struggling with monkey boy on our daily trek to his school bus. she says (and i'm paraphrasing),"beautiful day for a tatt. let's do it." she had the foresight to know that i'm a sucker for anything out of the norm. i agreed.

i was totally distracted the whole day at the office as i toggled between work and excitement. so much so, i had to bring work home to do (of which i am procrastinating doing as i write this blog!) but that is beside the point. i designed the tatt at the office with powerpoint, did a printout and showed it to the tattooist. he enlarged it a little, we discussed colours and the next thing i knew, he was pulling my top off my left shoulder. it happened so quickly, i was expecting it to hurt but i guess once you've had 3 kids naturally, a tattoo is a walk in the park.

every tatt has a story, and this is mine. i decided that it should be meaningful and abt family. i like stars which represent spirit and inspiration, and that's who my family are to me. the big red star is hubs. red inside coz of the love he has for me. the bottom most, with the pink center, is princess angel girl. the two black stars with the blue middle are the boys. notice how they are angled a little off coz they are both cheeky kids. the double lined one is me - i like being different : ). the 3 tiny black ones are there just for aesthetic balance.

T took me by surprise, but i'm sooo eff-ing glad she did. i really like my tatt. i can't stop looking at it. to me, it's gorgeous. i'm already planning for my tatt-2 and tatt-3.

ps - da godma took these shots today. thanks babe!

Footsie Fan

i love going for my monthly pedis. yeah you heard it right. i ain't no tai-tai. can't afford the time nor the money for a more frequent visit. i guess it makes the session more decadent and worth the relish.

eurasian girls have ugly toes (REALLY) so to see mine all decked up and polished is a real treat. love the warm soak and the scrub. the place i go to has old cottage granny chairs with pillows and a throw. so it's nice to sink in and just cozy up. doncha just hate the outlets with the uncomfy chairs that are too hard or with a short back rest?

oh the thrill! where do i begin. pedis take abt 45 mins but the first 20 mins, i'm usually stressing over what colour to choose. i usually opt for bubblebath or mr and mrs smith by OPI. on monday, i picked 69 which is a salmon with a gold frosting. the shade is out of my comfort zone. but i wanted my feet to look pretty, in a barbie sort of way.

i don't like the wait for the polish to set-in before the therapist lets you leave the place. the paranoia that my toe (s) will accidentally rub against the dryer. so i keep my feet as still as possible, cramping up my legs. the pain is soon forgotten. women understand that with pain comes pleasure.

european blue cheese video squid ink

feeling random .... hence the need to rant

been eating lots of soft cheese lately
brie and camembert with water crackers, to be exact
feeling european : )
i met obsidian on easter morn who introduced me to roquefort on slices of raw button mushrooms
i was put off at first ... the combo is an acquired taste
but like blue cheese, it wasn't long before i acquired it, heh
wish we had some port or white wine to complement

anyone seen the new linkin' park video? macam one of U2's outdoor shot videos like "beautiful day" or "vertigo" .
say it with me ... "rip-off"
right down to the floodlights, black leather jackets, huge aviator shades, standing mics, filming in the middle of no-where, random humanitarian montage ...
all that was missing were the effects of the the sound barrier vibrating/ the low flying jet/ persian carpets ...
also missing is the asian guy who enthusiastically scratches vinyl
*too bad, i liked him*

looking forward to tattoo weekend, tho it's 4 weeks from now!
can you beat that, since i last blogged abt it, i've been waiting
seems that when miami ink started airing, the slots have been chok-a-blok
not like 2-thumbs is anything like the artists on miami ink
but they are the most sterile

speaking abt ink, do octopuses have 8 legs or 8 arms?
or is it octopi (ie plural of octopus)?
i think it's 8 legs

reflections of contradiction

i took cue from Dee's blog (see link on e left) and also decided to work on my list. skeletons in my closet are abt to be aired. here are my top 10 loves and hates, about myself, in no particular order.

Hate : i procrastinate all the time.
Love : i work well under pressure and sometimes even produce my best work.

Hate : i think socialising is a chore ... coz i'm shy (REALLY!).
Love : i think well on my feet and am street smart enough to read people and their personalities and to react accordingly.

(digress, while i'm on this topic, i recently came out of my shell and met with my hubs ex-colleagues (sans hubs) for drinks. i was a little nervous at first. i mean i know these people but not well. i pulled thru and had fun. the alcohol helped.

Hate : i am uncomfortable with touchy-feely people or rather people who do not respect my space (personal or otherwise)
Love : i have come a long way from this and am beginning to understand why other people need to touch, or pick food off my plate for that matter.

Hate : i have issues with authority. i have a need to undermine/ challenge authority.
Love : i embrace change and play by my rules. also i don't compromise unless i can benefit from it and i pick my battles well. which brings me to ....

Hate : i am selfish
Love : i give my best to the people who mean the most to me.

Hate : i am materialistic and need to shop all the time
Love : i use my own money to feed my pleasure and i always bargain shop. never shop at full price. i have no issues using post-season clothes.

Love : i listen well and have an innate need to fix other people. hence my pleasure in straightening out the under dog.
Hate : i commit myself too much in helping ... at the expense of myself

Hate : i have issues with trust and with opening myself up to other people
Love : i am an open book to the ones i love the most.

Hate : being fat and not doing anything about it
Love : i am comfortable with my body

Hate : i am lazy and i need a muse
Love : i dun give up easily and i love challenges. am actually turned-on by it. the more desolate the situation, the more i want to succeed

Hate : i am obsessive and like being in control
Love : i am obsessive and like being in control : )

catholism by technicality

i grew up with my g-ma. lent in her house was 1) no meat on weds and fris, 2) visiting 7 churches on maundy thrusday, 3) doing a virgil on maundy thursday, 4) no comforts on good friday ie no fan, no tv, no radio, no yummy food (until 3 pm) 5) afterwhich, we were allowed a decent meal but still nothing fancy till easter. under the miserable circumstance, i really felt the spirit of lent.

this year, it was lent by convenience. 1) i only ate seafood on "some" fris and it was all yums 2) i went to only one church and left after 15 mins (albeit i was alone and had all the monkeys) last night, 3) i also couldn't keep my eyes open past 2030hrs, 4) we watched tv this morning also ... i'm online and i took a bite off da godma's gourmet pork chop, 5) we'll prob eat well tonight too.

then there is the other paradox of good friday and sex. for as long as i've been having sex, i've told myself that i'll keep the day celibate. but i always fail ... always. it starts with a nap then it doesn't. i told hubs abt it today as we were waking up. he turns and says, "but after 3pm can what". technically, he is right.

i feel sorry yet i don't. he died for us, but he's also alive and well. should we dwell on the past or work on moving on. do we want to cry over spilt milk or rejoice in the now. i wish i was a better catholic, but does it make me a bad one for not playing by the rules.

making up is hard to do

lashing out
i've got thick, long eye-lashes but they grow straight. i've always wanted them to curl. when i was younger, i used mom's mascara then "kiap"-ed my lashes, ripping the hair out as i released the lever. i swore off it. on my wedding day, i told the make-up artist to fit fake lashes on for me. she refused, die-die said no. she said NO to a bride on her wedding day! the trauma.

lip service
my viva glam V lippy just broke as i was applying it. i smiled when the stick snapped. then i caught myself smiling in the mirror. i was not mourning the loss of my lippy, i was thinking of a new shade i could buy to replace this one.

conceal her
concealer is my saviour. without this stuff, i'd look like the living dead, seriously. i swear by it.

shadow dancing
i love eye shadow. the smokey eye look is my fave. when i was in sec school, i used to sell make-up for pocket money during the hols. i worked for estee, ysl, lancome. thanks to the training and experience, i can do the full 3 colour spectrum in 2 minutes flat(both eyes) add another 30sec if need eyeliner.

*blush*
when i was in poly, i was all eye-liner and lip gloss. i wanted to expand my repertoir to include a blusher but didn't know neither how to apply nor what shade to wear. then my girfriend told me to jump on the spot till i flush up then choose a colour similar, for that natural look. she also said that if i had no time to apply blush, to pinch the cheeks till it changes colour. my advise is stop if it turns blue!

threesome

last weekend, hubs, wentworth miller and i had a threesome. we kept going and going at it for at least 6 hrs each night. on sunday (day), all hubs and i could only think abt was getting home and putting the kids to sleep early so that we could start again as soon as possible. last evening, da godma came by just when we started. we tried to entice her to join our threesome (we're kinky that way), but she remained disinterested. she stayed for a tease then left.

hubs and i agree that we are addicted, wanting more after each session. of course we have smoke breaks in between, to recharge. who would have thought that we would have it in us to do this all night long and so many times at a stretch. but we did. we are very tired ... but it was all so very worth it :) we are going to do it again tonight.

you see, we have 8 episodes left of the 22-episode box-set to watch. yes people, hubs and i gave up weekend sex for a "prison break" marathon. it was THAT good.

btw ... GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER, April fools!