intropective
found myself not as strong as i thot i was today. i've been managing cases for 6 years and don't usually let my emotions get the better of me. i always draw my line with work. today, i had a case that for some reason, affected me in a big way.
i have not had this feeling for a long time. i couldn't help but get sucked in as this woman shared her experience. maybe it's coz it was a helpless mother's plea for help. i let the mother in me get the better of me.
i put myself in her shoes and was overwhlemed by her sorrow and strength. i would have been broken into many pieces if what had happended to her had happened to me. but she was calm as she related her concerns. collected and systematic as she spoke.
but her eyes ached. and for a moment, her voice quivered. and then my stomach churned and my knees went weak. and i felt like giving her a hug, but i'm not that kind of person. but for a moment, i wish i was coz i think it would have made a difference. i wouldn't wish anyone in her shoes. sigh.
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see the pic. it's from gustav klimt one of my fave painters. love his work. his women are all opulant and strong but have a vulnerable side. thats how i feel right now.
Labels: darkside, helter-skelter
posted by shoesthatfit @ 10:35 PM
6 Comments:
Sometimes ... just having someone to listen is enough to make a difference. And perhaps your eyes showed ur empathy as much as her's showed her pain.
*hugs* ... coz I think U need one...
hey sis, *BIG HUGZ*
not easy being in that shoe! when I was working in the animal shelter, it just broke my heart seeing animals reduced to such states and they are still happy to see ya. I shut it all out too coz it would have broken me..not comparing or anything, but having a heart makes you feel, and feeling the pain makes us more human (my view on it) and sometimes that inspires us to do things that otherwise we might never do. I think you are there for a reason and perhaps you doing what u did helped her in some way! Respect!
Well.. no matter how strong the person is, i still think at some point or another, the person who is managing cases will be emotionally affected. Its only when u are so affected.
Probably thats the reason that pushes me to leave q...
BL
i agree with DG and ivan.
i rather be affected and be able to help and make a difference than not. ie if we don't help them, who will. anyway, this case has become my priority.
BL we all have different tolerance and comfort levels.
Everyone's entitled to fragility... we're human, flawed that way. But a good flaw... it keeps us real and grounded and humble. It reminds you that you're on the right track. *hugs*
I think stregth is not measure by how unaffected u are. It's being able to feel the pain, and still carry on.
A friend of mine said to me once, we must embrace the painful bits as much as we do the happy ones. It's all part of living. What she forgot to mention was how difficult it would be!
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