baby steps

baby took her first 4 steps 2 weekends ago. now she's officially mobile. so cute to see her stumble around. can't tell you how much i love the sound of her footsteps :)

bite me!

reality bit me hard in my fat ass last week after a noticeably smaller sized friend gave me a heads up on her dress size. so i went to try on some clothes and i'm up a size! my own clothes still fit, probably molded to my body already. sigh. looks like i need to diet again.

but seriously, how to lose weight when dee keeps baking these nigella beauties. my mom's bday was last weekend and dee helped us bake these macadamia nut chocolate chip banana muffins. then the kids had a field day with the frosting and icing.

just look at these, we had 21 cupcakes in all. how to lose weight like that! yes, that IS a glob of nutella on top of vanilla icing. can you say sugar rush!
you think i'm gonna ask her to stop, hell no! this weekend, she baked strawberry cream cheese cake.

liberation

this weekend, i finally got rid of my fat clothes. after dieting, i kept my size 16s in 2 boxes. this week, i got rid of it all.

i really don't know why i hung on to them when i did. i know that i don't ever want to go back to that size but it was just comforting to know that i still had them around.

now they are gone and i feel somewhat liberated. my size 8s work. sure, i still have my fat days. those days, i wear my size 10s.

the package

AG : i'm excited to see my mandarin exam results

me : why?

AG : my teacher said i got the 3rd highest in class

me : *beams w pride* ... how much did you get?

AG : 13 and a half

me : and what were the scores of the first 2?

AG : 26 and 20

me : waitaminute!! how much is this upon?

AG : 30

me : so you still failed lah!

AG : ya ... but i got 3rd highest *grins widely*

caught in a t(ri)angle

i was teaching MB his spelling words in my bedroom, when mom walked in.

mom : whose sandwich is that in the fridge, can i eat it for dinner?

me : it's mine ....

mom : oh, never mind then ... i'll just have some biscuits ...

me : no mom, go ahead and eat it

mom : no no, you eat it

me : no, you have it.

mom : no, no ... nevermind *but her eyes were lying*

me : *annoyed* mom! will you eat it already! stop playing this game. if you want the sandwich, go eat it.

mom : ok *smile*

end of scene one

let me tell you a little something about this sandwich. it's a smoked salmon sandwich from swiss bake. the bread is kraftkorn which is a dark malt bread consisting of cereals and oil seeds , malt, wheat, rye, oat, soya, sunflower seeds and flaxseed. if you buy it off their shelf, it sells as a loaf. but for this sandwich, it's baked round, and it's cut in a generous wedge - almost the size of a large pizza slice. the filling is smoked salmon, cream cheese, lettuce and capers on a meculin salad - again, all generous portions. priced decently at $8.50 a pop.

*i'll pause right here for you guys to soak it in and get a visual*

this IS my favourite sandwich and it's extremely hard to come by because it sells out very VERY fast. this afternoon, when i went to swiss bake to order MB's bday cake, i saw the beautiful sandwich from the corner of my eye. i knew it was mine! IT HAD TO BE MINE!!

scene two

mom : let's share ... i'll cut it into half

me : ok mom, if it will make you happy

moments later i walk up to the sandwich (remember, i told you it's cut in a wedge). mom's idea of half was not down the middle from the tip to the crust (creating 2 triangles). nooooo, she cut it right across, creating an isosceles triangle on one end and a trapezium of sorts on the other. i took one look at what had become of my sandwich and told mom that she could have it all.

mom, who is used to my idiosyncrasies, decided to agree with me without batting an eye.

end

1) for me, it's either ALL or nothing. yeah, sure i'll share ... but it's not my preference ... i know ... i'm a selfish punk

2) i'll never get over the feeling of having to sacrifice. i swear, i was not made for this emotion. i know for most, there is a sense of satisfaction, gratification even, knowing that you've given up something you like to someone who needs it more. but i rarely ever get this effect following a sacrifice. close to never. instead, i get a sick feeling in my stomach. i ruffle my feathers for not holding fort.

3) i like eating my food, especially my sweets and savories, in wedges. i must have a thing for triangles. i know that when i eat steak, i like cutting it into tiny triangular bits. of course, i like seeing my cakes, pies and quiches sliced this way too. food cut in squares/ rectangles are so blah. food cut in wedges take you on a journey - a choose your own adventure gastronomical trip even. follow me ....

you can start with the tip where everything is at it's richest. that's where you get most of the filling. the end is where the crust is thickest. also the most gritty texture. sometimes it's bland, but still nice as a last taste. i like to alternate tip and end sometimes, to balance the flavours. unless it's cake with an icing or is coated with chocolate rice or shavings etc. so then the logic reverses and the end is now the richest. sometimes i savour the tip for last, other times the crust. the combinations vary on the mood and what is served.

so when i saw my beautiful triangle sandwich butchered, i felt robbed of my journey and just had to walk away.

POST NOTE : this blog is also tri-part-tied hahahaha. 3 topics. i amuse myself. :)

remembering to forget :)

me (to AG and MB teasingly) : i know what aunty DG bought MB for his bday *smirk*

AG : ooh! whisper it in my ear!!

me : nope. you will tell MB about it and it won't be a surprise.

AG : noooo, i won't, you can trust me ....

me : can i really?

MB : yeah, you can trust her. last time i told her a secret, she forgot about it 10 mins later. so you see, you can trust her.

mother of a day

i pulled a nerve in my back, trying to open a jar of sun dried tomatoes, last night. the sharp pain traveled from the back of my neck down to my hip. now it hurts like hell and it's mighty uncomfortable. quasimodo in the house!

to add to that, i danced w the devil and ate salted egg crabs for dinner last night. we all know, i'm allergic to crustaceans. i took my anti-histamine before indulging but i knew that it wouldn't be enough to avoid the consequences. yet, tho i was armed w the knowledge and familiar with the repercussions, i ate the crab. this morning, i am an itching mess. i also have a swollen tongue and a tight throat.

to add salt to a wound, i seem to have caught the viral gastroenteritis (GE) bug from AG who got it from Bu. or maybe not coz intestinal irritation is also an allergic reaction.

so to sum it up, i feel like shite. i had to call my mom in to help me w the kids today instead of celebrating all that she has done for me. some mother's day this is turning out to be.

mother's day, schmother's day. really, we should appreciate mothers everyday. do we really need a day to prompt us to be nice to our moms, instead of taking them for granted, knowing that they will understand? we play them as much as they play us. but i think we started playing them first. that incessant crying as a baby coz we wanted to be carried, knowing that it tugged at their heart strings. we play moms like a fiddle. and moms, being moms, know this and they still bend backwards for us.

i called my grandmother to wish her "happy mother's day" and to tell her that i would not be able to visit her today. very calmly, she said,"that's ok, mothers should always expect disappointment. don't worry, i know you love me and we both love each other." all i could offer back was a meek promise to visit when i feel better. but i could tell in her voice that she knew not to hold her breath.

i was dumbfounded by the sheer truth of that statement and the impact (in all it's simplicity) it had on me. i know for sure, that as a mom, i'm disappointed a lot. by the kids, the hubs and situations that i have to deal with. like today for eg, hubs has missed mother's day 3 times in a row because of work. which means, i don't get my due appreciation today. and yet, i deal with it and make the most of it. i know he loves me and if given the opportunity, he would not miss it.

so ... appreciate your mother always. believe me, i know it's tough, but they deserve it. if nothing else, for carrying you uncomfortably for 9 months and having to push you out in pain but with so much love.

dam it!

how can one person retain so much water.
i've gone past camel, for crying out loud!
just call me queen of the dam-ed.
where's my chocolate!

girl on girl

girls check each other out all the time. no not in that way, but don't put that thought away. sure there are days when i look at a girl and think that i could totally jump her coz she looks so hot. but then i wouldn't know what to do with her, once jumped, coz i don't bat for that team.

i'd like to say that those feelings were very early inculcated in school when i was a convent girl. only to be evoked as and when, which is not often.

what i do do, very often, is look a girl over and think about the effort she has put in to pull a look together. the make-up, the clothes, the shoes, bag and accessories. whether the nails are painted, the hair nicely styled or coiffed edgy. how they all match or don't match but still make a statement.

sometimes the glance takes longer than it should. which could very well be misinterpreted as a glare. but if you smile and nod, girls know it's in appreciation of the effort. i'm not shy to compliment someone on their look or rather their effort to look good. something the boys should learn to do, instead of checking out out asses all the time. which, in itself, i guess is their way of paying us a compliment. hahaha

the animal lover

i was reading gary larson this morning while trying to de-stress and not think about my earlier presentation. gary cracks me up. love his warped sense of humour and wit. and his eye for detail that just make me chuckle every time i read his stuff. no human, alien or animal has been spared. he uses his drawings to make a mockery of everyday life. the man is wicked funny! i say, if you can't laugh at yourself, then don't laugh at all. unfortunately, the poor guy has also received much flak from the animal lovers of the world.

which brings me to ...

think "animal lover". good. now think crooked. how bad is that visual in your head? that goes with "cat lovers" and "dog lovers" and all the other types of ... well ... erm ... animal lovers out there. it's just wrong people. oh for the love of animals!
this is not a larson comic. it's a rubin who, if you do follow the far side, has been compared to larson but always never quite in the same league. however, i found this one quite funny :D

Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love ... 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy - chocolate sweet chocolate

i'm just off my high of giving a 25 slide presentation to senior management. i spent the whole of yesterday data crunching then case-finding to support the said data.

went well i think. i say this coz i had some bad news to tell and they did look miserable after i was done. they also had nothing to say at the Q&A. which could mean one of 2 things : i bored them out of their socks or my message was loud and clear. i think it's the latter coz the coffee served was hot and strong. plus i was really working the eye-contact thing.

now, i'm sitting at my desk. i'm eating an apple but i'm wishing that it is a bar of chocolate. dark chocolate with nuts. dark bitter-sweet chocolate with almonds - roasted almonds to be specific. so why don't i just eat the chocolate (coz i have one in my overhead cupboard)? coz i got on the freaking scales this morning and i'm up a kg! dammit. still within range tho but still ... PMS starts next week, so what gives!

alas, my only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, That I must love a loathèd enemy.

mind over matter ... mind over matter ...

POSTNOTE : i caved at about 4-some. i popped 2 squares in my mouth. somehow, pre-meditated chocolate is not as good at spontaneous chocolate. the guilt got in the way. sigh.

the ball is in motion

june is fast approaching. you know what that means, we need to get our act together re moving house. we are finally done dragging our feet. well actually, given a choice, we would like to drag our feet a bit more. but we've been given the ol' heave ho by the powers that be.

so, we just appointed the reno guy and we've gone to look for tiles for the floor. there is no turning back now. the ball is in motion.

stay tuned for the horror packing stories. followed closely by it's much anticipated sequel ... the unpacker! dun dun dunnnnnnnn!