the hostess with the mostess

and as the curtains of my very dramatic 4th pregnancy closes, i would like to thank everybody out there who has supported me in one way or another. either by listening to me bitch abt my physical discomfort, my expanding waistline AND thighs, my hobbit feet and my whining when hubs was away for stretches at a time. the emotional roller coaster ride ends in 3 days (or sooner ... i'm not the boss ... just the host)

i am eternally grateful for the sisterhood. obsidian for the many many massages and tea time cakes, DG for the effortless gourmet food that you whipped up, dee for obligingly baking apple crumble (w extra almonds and raisins ... yums) EVERY SINGLE TIME i asked for it, da president for reminding me that the diet is waiting for me and for agreeing to be my personal coach.

i have to say i can't wait to have total control of my body again. i can't wait to be one person. i can't wait to see her face and hold her so that life can go on. the anxiety is killing me. wednesday cannot come soon enuf!

the magic panty

while i'm at it, when i first saw dee's sms, i thought she wrote that the grill could be bought at the magic panty. yes, i'm a half dead.

of course that amused me to bits. my thoughts went crooked and i thought she was asking me for a sex toy that is called "the grill". which does sound kinky in that rough sex kinda way.

then my thoughts drifted again and i was thinking, if there really was such a thing as a magic panty, every woman would have heard about it's joys and we'd all own at least 3 pairs.

this panty would be a dream come true. it'll never give any VPL, it'll really be one size fits all without the muffin spill over effect, it'll morph to the colour of your clothes so that it will never show thru the fabric. oh what a glorious product this would be.

and then i read the sms again. duh!

the magic grill

dee smses me yesterday and blatantly tells me she wants vouchers for her bday for a grill that she's been eyeing. so i'm like, why don't you just tell me where and i'll get the grill for you. i mean seriously, how much can a grill cost right? she texts back and says it's $308 from a place called the magic pantry.

by then, my head is spinning at the 308 dollar price tag. i mean it's a grill. you turn it on, and it grills.

unless .... unless ... there is magic in the grill ... as the shop suggests. maybe little smurfs come out when you are not looking and sprinkles magical star dust over the food? or ... or ... there's that disney magical soundbite that rings when the grill is turned off/ on that goes "have a magical day" the way Tinkerbell would say, with the wave of her wand? or, with every purchase, the magic pantry gives the buyer a book of spells so no matter what you grill, people will come back for more.

hahaha ... i'm no witch ... i love dee and if a grill is what she wants, a grill is what she'll get. or at least part of a grill ... just as long as i get to eat the magic off the damn thing too.

DG, i'm roping you in on this one ... for obvious reasons. (mostly coz i dun think i know where or what it is).

happy father's day

i woke up to her less than gentle kicking today. usually, when she kicks, i just put my hand over my bump, and she calms down. if that doesn't work, i grab one of my kids to talk to her right at the belly. and if that doesn't work, i reach for hubs hand which always always does the trick.

today, it's as tho she knows that it's father's day and daddy is not here. she is kicking with a vengeance. a tantrum that only fierce divas are known to throw. this child knows i'm not the dada.

2 queens

and then it dawned on me. i'm not angry that he isn't here by my side. i'm frustrated that because he is not here, she has to be around. i've said it before, and i'll say it again. 2 queens in one castle is not a good thing.

today, i asked the other queen to take the day off while i stayed home with my 3 merry men. they were trying but they didn't break my mood.

there were tantrums and peace talks and defiance and trickery but it was all good. and i remained sane. the whole day : )

brush with love

now that shopping for clothes is not something i can indulge in anymore, i've turned my focus back on make-up. more specifically make-up tools.

my latest obsession is the MAC 214 brush (it's the bottom most of the 3 in the pic). what does it do that my pinkie can't do with a swipe on my lid? well it can expertly pack on colour at exactly where i need for the effect i want. it also works as a smudger for that smokey eye look that i love.

and brushes last forever, so it's a good investment considering i'm no way close to giving up my make-up fascination in the near future.

taking a break

today is my last day in the office. i've taken my maternity leave early and won't be back at the desk till end of sept. woo hoo!

welllll, we'll see how long that excitement lasts. i'm a workaholic, i love the stress. i'm going to give myself a week before i start checking my emails for updates.

i'm so useless ... i know. right up till the baby comes at least. then i'll be a full time cow. mooooo.

new addiction

since the whole influenza A (H1N1) started, the hospital has been pushing spread preventive measures to all staff. it started with the refresher for how to don the personal protective equipment (PPE) mask inclusive. 3 types of masks mind you, in case stocks run out. then came the hand washing campaign.

this is my least favorite call to action coz i'm allergic to hand sanitizers. it just works up my eczema in a nasty wicked way. but lately, the hospital has changed the generic brand of hand wash. the new one now has an emollient of sorts in the mixture, making it almost moisturizing.

now ... i'm a hand creme/ lotion person ... because of the said eczema. so this new product, that is available around every nook and cranny on hospital grounds, is my new BFF. and i love the toxic alcohol-based smell. i really do. it's freaking addictive. like the smell of fresh paint or detol or super glue. i draw my line at gasoline but you get my drift.

it's my new addiction, until i get to buy my pack of marlboros again.

iiiiaaaammmmmmmm nooootttttttt your super-wooooooooman

i've been toggling with my emotions lately. hubs is away in bangkok and won't be back till next monday. i'm 38 weeks preggers and am supposed to stay positive and keep happy thoughts while i wait crossed-legged for his return.

on one hand i'm completely cool with this. altho i've made plans with friends to jump into action should i go into labour, i think i will also be ok to do it alone. just me and the doc, no frills.

on the other hand, this whole arrangement just frustrates me.

POSTNOTE 19/6 :
today i feel angry. angry and selfish. and alone. my hats are off to the many women out there who have gone thru pregnancy and birth without their partners. my hats are off to these superwomen who bear no grudge or ill thoughts of their partners who have shared responsibility of having put them in this situation. these amazing women who can focus their positive emotions on the glorious birth at hand. who brave the struggles of labour alone and embrace motherhood with fervor.

my grandma told me that for all her 5 kids, when she felt labour coming on, she walked to the clinic, had her child, rested for a few hours then walked home with her newborn swaddled close. in time to greet my grandfather at the door when he returned from work.

now that's a superwoman. and i'm not she ...

nesting part 3

we'll be moving to our new house by the end of the year, so says the neighbourhood gossip. hubs and i (well more i than hubs) have been scoping for ideas. we know our design focus will be minimal furniture and clever storage. everything else is not important.

heres a peek at the floor plan of the new casa.
well this is how the builders have positioned it. we most prob will not go with the norm.

i for one think the kitchen is too big. so i'm really looking forward to scaling it down and opening up the area. we already have plans to break down a few walls and to change things up (you were right obsidian). we've learnt that only the bolded walls need to stand firm. the thinner ones can be broken which will help to open up the space a little. and you know, we are all about space.

hubs stumbled on this website recently freshome. amazing design ideas. mostly fresh too ... :) of cause many of these homes have a decadent amount of space *jealous* but the concepts make for good take-aways.

lest we forget how fragile we are

this week i was really emotional for me. a good friend's mom passed on sunday night. he's my age which makes his mom about the same age as mine. she had a kidney transplant some 20 years ago and i guess was on heavy meds. she finally succumbed to her condition.

the news came as quite a shock for us - both me and my mom. the family used to stay right next to us and we practically grew up together. then when they shifted out, we saw less and less but my friend and i stayed in touch. we were relatively close till we both started our separate lives then we'd sms once a year, if at all.

but i digress, this was just a wake up call for me .... sometimes i forget how fragile our parents are. they are not as strong as they used to be. just last week DG's mom fell and fractured her elbow and sustained a nasty cut in her lip. she had to go for surgery and stitches. of course that did not stop her from bossing the docs and nurses around at the hospital. which was a rerlief coz of the very fact that she was, meant that she was fine : )

my mom limps coz of an achilles and knee problem and she is also losing her hearing and becoming very forgetful. she also thinks she has high blood pressure and is a borderline diabetic. but that's not going to stop her from eating ice-cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. and so the tables the turned. the nagger is now the nagged. the difference is, i have to nag respectfully, coz she is my mom.

sometimes it really frustrates me that she is not as physicallly strong as i remember her. not the dancing diva, dragon boater or rock climber she used to be. now she prefers to catch up with friends over a meal. she was superwoman. now she is just woman. and on some days ... she is the old woman. and i tell myself that i need to be forgiving and understanding.

it's pay back time and it's impt that i pay back with double the love that she showed me. but it's truly hard coz patience is not a virtue that comes naturally to me. it's an effort. but this is the circle of life.

hey Mr DJ

MB : mummy, i know how to spell "OK"

me : really, how?

MB : O and K lah

me : very good *roll eyes*

MB : but you know what, i dunno how to spell?

me : what?

MB : DJ ... like "hey Mr DJ put the record on"

me : son .... it's D and J

MB : oh

where has wentworth gone?

guess my surprise when i turned on the tube tuesday night and the trailer said "watch prison break season 4, 3 nights in a row, every week" .. ok i paraphrased, local tv editing is less banal than that.

anyway-anyway ... it got my juices going coz it's been forever since i drooled over wentworth miller and his constipated glare. the familiar theme song played. the character shots were shown ... "hmmm just as yummy as i remember him" ....

then ... his first close-up came up. and i was like, oooo-kkkaaaaayyyyyy .... someone's gotten a little pudgy around the middle. and is that a shadow of a bald spot i see?

then i had an ally mcbeal moment ... a song crept into my head ... where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods ..... reality hit, he's aged and he's human and he's not perfect. at least the constipated glare hasn't changed. whhaaattt ... i may be pregnant but i'm still allowed to lust, damn it!