lest we forget how fragile we are
this week i was really emotional for me. a good friend's mom passed on sunday night. he's my age which makes his mom about the same age as mine. she had a kidney transplant some 20 years ago and i guess was on heavy meds. she finally succumbed to her condition. the news came as quite a shock for us - both me and my mom. the family used to stay right next to us and we practically grew up together. then when they shifted out, we saw less and less but my friend and i stayed in touch. we were relatively close till we both started our separate lives then we'd sms once a year, if at all.
but i digress, this was just a wake up call for me .... sometimes i forget how fragile our parents are. they are not as strong as they used to be. just last week DG's mom fell and fractured her elbow and sustained a nasty cut in her lip. she had to go for surgery and stitches. of course that did not stop her from bossing the docs and nurses around at the hospital. which was a rerlief coz of the very fact that she was, meant that she was fine : )
my mom limps coz of an achilles and knee problem and she is also losing her hearing and becoming very forgetful. she also thinks she has high blood pressure and is a borderline diabetic. but that's not going to stop her from eating ice-cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. and so the tables the turned. the nagger is now the nagged. the difference is, i have to nag respectfully, coz she is my mom.
sometimes it really frustrates me that she is not as physicallly strong as i remember her. not the dancing diva, dragon boater or rock climber she used to be. now she prefers to catch up with friends over a meal. she was superwoman. now she is just woman. and on some days ... she is the old woman. and i tell myself that i need to be forgiving and understanding.
it's pay back time and it's impt that i pay back with double the love that she showed me. but it's truly hard coz patience is not a virtue that comes naturally to me. it's an effort. but this is the circle of life.
posted by shoesthatfit @ 10:17 PM
3 Comments:
Boy, don't I know the feeling. And my Mom's turning 80 this year! It's easy to forget that she's old because she's always been so strong but lately, her eyes and ears are failing her. Not to mention her memory too. I guess we really have to learn to be patient. One day, we will go down the same road too. But if I manage half of what my Mom has managed, I think I would be ok.
Sigh. Wake up call for me too. I forget with my mum's fierce independence, inner strength & resilence that she's more fragile now. That I should make more adjustments in my lifestyle so that I spend more time with her & do more with her. Patience is also not my strong suit.
I was terrified that she had to go into surgery, even though it's a straight forward proceedure. It terrified me that she was shoken up that she fell & I could hear it her voice when she called me from the hospital's A&E. It terrified me that I all I could do was stand there & pretend that I wasn't feeling helpless & lost.
It terrifies me that it maybe me one day in her place.
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