iiiiaaaammmmmmmm nooootttttttt your super-wooooooooman

i've been toggling with my emotions lately. hubs is away in bangkok and won't be back till next monday. i'm 38 weeks preggers and am supposed to stay positive and keep happy thoughts while i wait crossed-legged for his return.

on one hand i'm completely cool with this. altho i've made plans with friends to jump into action should i go into labour, i think i will also be ok to do it alone. just me and the doc, no frills.

on the other hand, this whole arrangement just frustrates me.

POSTNOTE 19/6 :
today i feel angry. angry and selfish. and alone. my hats are off to the many women out there who have gone thru pregnancy and birth without their partners. my hats are off to these superwomen who bear no grudge or ill thoughts of their partners who have shared responsibility of having put them in this situation. these amazing women who can focus their positive emotions on the glorious birth at hand. who brave the struggles of labour alone and embrace motherhood with fervor.

my grandma told me that for all her 5 kids, when she felt labour coming on, she walked to the clinic, had her child, rested for a few hours then walked home with her newborn swaddled close. in time to greet my grandfather at the door when he returned from work.

now that's a superwoman. and i'm not she ...