bff

angel girl had her first bff type phone call today. she was really excited. this girl is her class-mate but they only recently started talking. they are both on the volleyball team and are in the same catechism class too. for me, it was really cute to see her lounged on the sofa making idle banter. sure, this same stance is going to be the splinter in my side for all of her up-coming teenage years. but seeing her like that brought back fond girlish memories for me too.

they talked about liking the same type of computer games (plants vs zombies), the same tv channel (nickelodeon and mtv), family (she too has annoying brothers). i let her talk for about 15 mins and insisted on being at ear-shot. then when time was up, i gave her the pointing-finger-in-motion signal to wrap it up. which she did but not before the girl said she'd call her this evening. *looks like it's game on!*

when she was done, i was quick to give her the friendship talk to call-out the other person's bad decision should the need arise. sure friends are all about support and love but it's more than that. as a responsible friend, you need to tell them when they are heading for trouble. then support them even if they decide to go down that path.

may have been a little pre-mature, but it's never too early to instill the virtue of independent thinking. i've seen so many swayed by the herd mentality of following rather than thinking for themselves. but she's a smart kid. there are others in my tribe i should be more concerned a about.

ma'cow

bu : where is dada?

me : in macau.

bu : who's cow?

me : noooo.... macau ...

bu : your cow?

me : i don't have a cow babes.

bu : so where's dada?

hubs left for macau last night. prepped the kids beforehand about it but obviously, someone was not listening :)

mouth fools

these were taken very badly on my sony ericsson. yes, hubs is bugging me to buy an iphone. in time ... in time ... but don't hold your breath ok. it's no secret that i'm allergic to technology.
sweet, sweet angel girl

the magnificent monkey boy

cheeky bu

and not to be left out, darling dollface :)

free lunch

we've all heard the term, no such thing as free lunch. on my bday, my mom was determined to test the theory.

we were supposed to have breakfast together after sending the kids to school but we had a mis-communication and so we pushed our together time to lunch. people really should not communicate or make plans before 8am!

anyways, so we went to vivo where there are heaps of restaurants to choose from. since mom and i don't get out much, i asked her what she'd like to eat. of course she sings a chorus of "anything", "up to you" and "where ever". grrrrrr ... so i decided to decide for us.

i said we'll have sushi. then she turns to me and said, "i don't do sushi." she wanted to have ice-cream for lunch. (this is the same woman who would smack the back of my head if i suggested the same as a kid)

i said noooooo (who's the mom again?) but we can have some for dessert. just then she remembered that swensens served free lunch on birthdays. so we made a bee-line to Earle's Swensens. mom offered to buy.

mom : you serve free lunch on birthday's right?
waiter : no ma'am. but we do serve a free slice of cake.
mom : but you used to serve free lunch on birthday's years ago
waiter : perhaps ma'am.
mom : i remember, swensens always served free lunch on birthdays.
waiter : but this is Earle's Swensens, we are a new concept restaurant
mom : but the menu says Swensens
waiter : i'm sorry ma'am but we only serve the cake for birthdays
mom : but ....
me : mom, it's different, don't worry a slice of cake is fine.
mom : ....... but they used to serve free lunch.
me : yeah, i know. tell you what, i'll buy lunch.

flashback saturday

i remember now why i don't go shopping with mom anymore.

yesterday, dee and i went to vivo with mom. before lunch, we decided to pop into river island (dee's fave tho she won't admit to it). anyways we were hanging by the shoes when this really cute sales staff (they call it retail advisor) came up to advise us on a trendy pair.

i gave dee the "ain't he yummy" wink. she blushed in agreement. then mom, who overheard all our cryptic signals asked the female sales staff nearby what the guys name was. what race and where did he come from!

i swear, dee and i wished the the damn floor would have just swallowed us whole! sooooo embarrassing! can die! all of a freaking sudden, i felt 13 again.

mom used to do this to me in church all the time. nudging me when she saw a cute boy my age. or even talking to the moms of the cute boys to introduce me.

and people wonder why, now as an adult, i am so screwed up.

life's a tease

i've got a thot in my head ... that's not really a thot. well actually i have have many thots in my head that i have not had time to write. in no particular order ... this is my life ... without elaboration.

1) another uncle passed-on with cancer. liver cancer. he found out abt it 3 months ago. the fittest man i know, not a smoker nor a drinker. always watched what he ate too. when he found out, it was already in it's fourth stage. he gave me away at my wedding which is why he is dear to me. i'm now designing a a star tatt (to join my family of stars done earlier) to honour him.

2) i got a new tatt. the chrysanthemum that i wanted. it's on the back of my neck, covered by my hair. it's my little secret. did it on an impulse. needed to feel pain. will blog pics once DG sends them to me. meanwhile, dun hold your breath.

3) still addicted to make-up. somebody NEEDS to help me.

4) still struggling with exercise. now worried too coz AG is getting rounder with the lack of movement. in kindie she was running around a lot but in pri school, PE is only 2 periods in a week. been going for walks with her. actually just A walk. really need to put more attention in helping her with this.

5) hubs has been doing lots of events lately. which means, i've been stuck with the kids and mom (which explains the lack of entries). a colleague asked me the other day how i manage work and family. i told her that work stops when i drop my pen. coz when i get home, family is all consuming. i also said smokes and alcohol helps. now if only they'd make grass legal....

6) EPL season just started. won't see hubs till may next year! this morning while i was putting on make-up and getting ready for church, he was going on and on abt the goals and the managers and the players and the plays the players made and tonights matches. the only thot in my head was does my eye make-up match my clothes?

ps ... and on that note, roy keane looks so much hotter in his well-tailored manager suit than in a man u jersey!

moment of silence

found out a couple of days ago, that the first boy to ever ask me for my telephone number, had succumbed to cancer. it was real shocking news coz he's just a few years older than me and a very talented musician. hope his life was pleasantly full while it lasted.

i remember being just a girl, at all of 16, and no-where-near being a woman. i was slowly phasing out my tom-boy look (coz mom said i had to) and was just starting to wear skirts, brush my hair and wear make-up (basic stuff like eye-liner and gloss). this guy and i used to go for cat class together but as all catholic children know, cat class is not where you learn about god, it's actually SDU for the young.

we also went for the same mass and i always had mom with me. but one sunday, and i remember this vividly, mom was ill so i went alone. Once the priest finished the gospel, i went down to the vending machine where i bumped into him, also skipping the homily. we smiled then stood there while we sipped the watered down coke. then all of a sudden he turned to me and asked for my number. just like that. no lead up, no small talk, nothing. i wasn't smitten enuf so i declined *but i have to say that i liked the attention*

we never spoke again. tho we did the eye contact thing. as we grew older, the eye contact morphed into the head nods and then the occasional "hi!". we actually had a full conversation some years ago. he's still single and i have an army, he was amused. i feel sad coz i din get a chance to say bye.

my mother's daughter

many times i feel that i am not the daughter mom hoped i'd turn out to be. she likes secret sharing sessions (i'm too secretive), girlie afternoons (i like being alone), food swapping at meal time (don't eat off my plate). She is day and i am night. she wants to be oprah and i want to hide in a hole. you feeling me?

she always (to this day) excitedly tells people that i'm her daughter - i stand by the side smiling sheepishly as she introduces me to strangers. she tells the taxi driver, the hawker, the butcher who doesn't speak english. and i'm like "who the f*ck cares!" ... sigh ... she does.

i grew up wanting to be her, but as i developed my own character, i wanted to be different. mom and i have not found our middle ground (yet) and we get on each other's nerves a lot (and i MEAN a lot) but i would defend her with my life. it's like (and i mean this in jest) no one bullies my mom ... except me : ) everybody else better speak to her with respect or else i'll keropok you nicely.

i have problems showing mom that i love her. i do, i really do, love her. and i appreciate her so much, but i dun have the spoken words for it. i wish i could write her, but mom hates reading ... unless it's celebrity gossip. i'm sure we'll see the light in time ... else we have "golden girls" moments to look forward to. trust me, you don't want to stick around for that.

i got this from discovery.com. i think it's just so freaking true.

When you're five, she's a goddess. You smear your face with her lipstick and model her earrings and high heels, wanting to be just like mommy. That's the way it is until you're about thirteen, when she suddenly becomes the most ignorant, benighted, out-of-touch creature on the planet, and you can't get far enough away from her. Your primary form of interaction for the next five years or so will be a single word, "Mooooooooooooommmmmmm!" And then, somewhere between your twenties and your thirties, if you're lucky, she becomes your best friend again.

Mothers and daughters who struggle with their relationships as adults often repeat the old patterns of control and rebellion from childhood, says Dr. Tracy. "They can't hear each other. The daughter will hear the mother say something and she'll think, 'She wants to control me.' And the mother is saying something that absolutely is controlling, but is not meant to be." Meanwhile, when the daughter speaks, the mother hears nothing but anger — in a comment that does indeed convey anger but also "I love you, and can't we do this differently?"

No relationship is quite as primal as the one between a mother and her daughter. "It's the original relationship, and it's also a relationship that has been sentimentalized but not honored," says Lee Sharkey, Ph.D., who directs the Women's Studies program at the University of Maine at Farmington, where she teaches a popular course in mother-daughter relationships. "Women grow up and our energy is largely turned toward men, but the original love relationship is with a mother. If we as daughters don't acknowledge that, we're closing ourselves off from a great source of power and fulfillment and understanding of ourselves.

godparents = magic and mayhem

just when i thot that the gender divide was finally over (or at least narrowing), i found that we are still very much testosterone and eostrogen.

couple of weeks ago, i became an aunt. a big deal for me coz i thot i would never be an aunt to any kid. then out pops danni california (my niece) and wham, my tree of life just sprouted a new branch. she's beautiful. and sooo very tiny. well tiny-er than the ones i gave birth to. red-hot-chilli-padi. actually i thot you-know-who would have blogged about her but i guess he is catching up on sleep. i waited and waited .... till i could wait no more.

anyway, back to the gender divide ... i googled "godfather images" and had pages after pages of stills from THE GODFATHER and paraphranelia. you know ""Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day." says Don Corleone to Bonasera. say it out loud with your best sicillian accent. (i just made myself crave for italian)

then i googled "godmother" and i had pages and pages of wand wielding fairies! fat chicks with wings! so this post goes pictureless just because.

taking google as a guide, we have just laid down our roles. while the hubs will watch over her like the italian mafia (watch out boys!) i'll ensure that she's glamourously fashionable, wears proper shoes and back before midnight!

ps - danni california is not her real name, just in case you were thinking "poor girl".

luck for the downtrodden

my grand uncle passed away on 24 dec. xmas was just not the same. family was pulled together, but for different reasons. we all brought our xmas cooking to the wake. but the mood was solemn.

he's my granny's brother - we are 2 generations removed. but coz we are a tight family, the death (although expected) still hit hard. he died of cancer - the 5th member of my family to die of cancer.

we had the final mass on 26 dec. watching my grandmother cry was gut wrenching. i see and am around death a lot at work, but watching family grief is a different ball game. she was with her brother as he died, praying together with him, asking him to surrender his soul to jesus.

both takes balls. watching a loved one die and surrendering yourself to fate. both were brave. i know my uncle is happier now, in a better place. i know my grandma is happier too, that she managed to get some jesus into her wayward brother.

my uncle led a hard and lonely life. but he was a good man. my mom in law says it's good luck to die at xmas. about time he got lucky. i can almost hear his wickedly cheeky laughter as the rain pelts against my window. i know he is happy. i know i'm happy for him.