greed becomes me

mom bought a shit-load of durians today. she must have had a massive craving coz she came back with 4 fruits! yellow creamy and succulent, oh my gawd, the flesh just melted in my mouth. since i haven't indulged in a long time, i attacked it with vengence.

i feel so heaty now. uugggghhhhhh!

chocolate porn du jour

i chanced on this website and i it got my juices going.
what's better than porn? chocolate porn!

dee ... deeeeeee .... you reading?? think it's about time we hook up again : )))

the name game

i finally went back to facebook today to clear my page and do some housekeeping. haven't logged in since dec 07. didn't realise that they had re-vamped the page and now on the right hand side, there is a list of people whom "i might know". i thot they were all requests "to be friends", so i clicked on a a few (which i thot were suspicious coz we were/are not REALLY friends) before i hit a stranger's request. then i realised that it was the other way around and I WAS adding friends. geez!

anyways, i decided that since i was on, i'd search for old school friends. i decided to go with the poly years. out of the 20-some people that i used to hang out with, i only knew the full names of 2 - one of whom is dee (who by the way, is in facebook denial - the woman uses my ID and password to check other people out. but i love her so i let her do it. then one day, she nudged someone while surfing w my ID. that was when her privilege ended ... well at least until she bakes for me again)

BUT I DIGRESS

the point i am making is that at 18, we didn't use full names. there was absolutely no need for the last name coz we came up with bizarre nick-names. long names were shortened and short names had alter egos.

so i found a friend and i sent him a message and i'm hoping it's him coz i could've just given a stranger access to my page for a month. which is torture for a paranoid like me. arrgghhhh!

POSTNOTE : it really was him. phew!

welcome to wonka week

things are getting a little wonka-ish at home and it's been so much fun. hubs has been working all week and i've been holding fort and hanging with the kids. bu has been contributing in conversations lately, now that he has an opinion, and loves to feel included. we've also been praying together a bit more. the kids a learning to bless their food.

AG & MB : thank you jesus for blessing my food (while at the dinner table)
bu : ... thank you jesus for blessing dada's chocolates (said the little head peering out of the fridge while his chubby fingers reaches for his father's stash)

we've also been saying night prayers a little more. following this, we sing a short hymn from mass. MB and AG recently wanted to add to the playlist. so now we also sing "give me oil in my lamp" and "jesus loves me".

today after singing both songs, bu also had a song request. i agreed and asked what he wanted to sing. he suddenly broke into "A,B,C,D,E,F, G..." (you know the rest). and when he was done, he said "amen".

haven't bean there in a while

after dinner we walked to starbucks for coffee and to indulge in people-watching. i haven't been out to a coffee joint in a long while so when i went to the counter to get my drink, i was amused by the enthusiastic crew.

the first boy greets me all happy like he's on something good. i play along (why not) and together we went into the process of choosing my poison for the night. then another boy comes from behind him and does a pitch on one of the 2 ice-blends that's on promotion. he's so in to it, i cave and agree on the stronger of the two.

the air must have been thick with caffeine coz i really enjoyed the process. i was laughing and so were they. then the second guy leans over and says,"so what's your name?" and i'm thinking "dude, i'm old enuf to be your ...erm ...your big sister!" i pause and i gave him the look. then it clicks and i say this out loud,"you need my name to write it on the cup right?"

DUH! i'm sooo not going back to that outlet!

communication got me down

this month's pms journey brings new expectations. poor hubs. i feel that he should be able to read my mind and know what i mean. but alas, he is but a man.

last night, he went to a play (radio and juliet) which he told me about on monday while we were msning. i flirted with him to date me coz i haven't had any culture (apart from yogurt) in a while, besides, i really wanted some couple time. he flirted back saying it's scandalous to date a married woman. i told him not to worry, my husband is too busy with work and will not suspect anything. we teased each other a bit more and by the end of it, i thot i scored.

yesterday, he went while i stayed home with the kids. i knew he was going and i thot that his not bringing up the topic the last couple of days was his way of surprising me. i was wrong. he later sent me an sms to tell me how awesome it was.

when i shared this morning that i wanted him to take me, he said that i didn't tell him i wanted to go. my head almost exploded. then he said i have to start communicating better and i cannot keep things to myself.

maybe i assume too much. maybe we are not as in-sync (visuals of boys with bad hair hooked up to puppet strings just popped in my head ... but i digress) as i thot we are. maybe he is just one of those guys who like to tease vulnerable married women with kids.

so i'm going to make it clear. i wanna go on a date.

i need a hero

i went to the supermarket today to get ham *knowing look* which was the only item on my list. but i was soon distracted and started picking up more and more stuff as i made my way to the check out. this also meant that did not take a basket or a trolley with me but decided to play jenga with my 8 items and juggle them to the counter.

i picked a bag of mangosteen, a loaf of bread, ready made pizza crusts, chopped ham, shaved ham, a box of grapes, a bag of cheezles and some salmon. phew. but then, i lost focus (hell yeah i lost focus) and dropped the bag of mangosteens.

people around me froze - either gawking at my stupidity for not taking a basket or that they somehow lost their help button. not a soul stopped to help. i couldn't believe it! people actually walked around me as i bent to pick up the fruit to re-bag it. locals and non-locals.

people have just taken the whole "mind your own business" too seriously or they have forgotten how to help. how sad is that :(.

my sacrifice

i’ve been a mom for what 8-ish years now and the one thing that i still struggle with is sacrifice. this morning, i was making a ham sandwich for myself to eat at the office – 2 half folded sandwiches is how i like it.

AG started to hawk over my sandwiches and had that glazed look on her face like she was channeling her *be mine now* thots.

as the mom, i sensed these feelings of longing-ness and asked her if she wanted one. she jumped and said yes and my head just exploded in a loud DAMN IT! she only wanted one half but my routine called for 2 halves so i was not about to bring the other half to the office – i’m just anal that way. So i kept it in the fridge for her to indulge later.

i’ll say it again … DAMN IT!! i was planning for the sandwiches from last night. i went to sleep with the thot of having a shaved ham sandwich with my cuppa this morning as i check my email. i could almost taste the ham in my mouth.

Damn it, DAMN IT!!