snakes and ladders
pregnancy is a time for joy and excitement but many people are making it hard for me to shift into gear. the most common statement i've heard in the last month is "so wasted ah, that you are pregnant. after you worked so hard to lose weight, now you have to put on again."at first i laughed it off and even joked back but then these insensitive remarks have became incessant. and instead of people congratulating me, it was like they were offering me pity.
i feel like i've been playing snakes and ladders and i'm up to square 99, got bitten by the snake and now i'm back down to zero. and since i champion rebirth, i'm all set to climb again but every move i make takes me back to zero. how cruel is that.
i do think abt the weight i've lost and i'm making mental notes to remind myself to not be anal abt it and just go with the flow with this pregnancy. i'm paranoid about the return of my 2 nemesis(s) ... terrible thunder thighs and the dreaded double chin. hubs, who has been amazing, keeps reminding me to block these out and enjoy myself.
this baby is changing me in a way my other 3 kids didn't. there are smells that i am so sensitive to and food that i absolutely cannot stomach. i also don't feel pretty (not a low esteem thing) just that i don't find the pleasure in make-up anymore. nor am i interested in dressing up or creating looks. nada.
so life goes on. i look forward to happier times. xmas may be just the thing to excite me again. i'm sure once the family whips out the feng and devil's curry, i'll be all good : )
Labels: preggers
posted by shoesthatfit @ 11:49 AM
6 Comments:
Aww... girl who these twits? want to get hung by their toe-hair!!
You know ur probably not enjoying the pregnancy yet because there are still traces of disappointment within you. Try to remember how you were with your other kids. And woman! it's just weight loss! Something so superficial that we feed our egos with yes... I admit, it makes us feel awesomely sexy. But you've got a life inside you. How does that even compare??? Besides, for the longest time I always felt you pulled of sexy pregnant so well. I'm coming to you for lessons if ever it's my turn... toongu long long la... but still.
Hubs is right, shut the nitwits out. People sometimes don't know when to quit. I wasn't around for ur last two pregnancies. All I rermember is you called one your tax deductable, another one a peanut and you wanted to give my godson some odd name starting with the letter R. I'm looking forward to you n the hubs sharing this one with meeeeee : )
I know it's hard. But if anybody can hang in there, it's you. Just ignore what those nitwits are saying. We are here for you.
I read this post and your other posts when you wrote about your pregnancy so many times and wrote this comment, only to have erased it again and again and am writing it again.
Look, I've told you before that I am extremely happy for you and know for a fact that God has chosen the right person to be mum to this child of yours that he has given to.
There will be people out there who will make insensitive remarks which they don't mean to. Gosh, I should know better than that! There are so many couples out there, Shoes, who after 20 years of trying to conceive, having had to go through fertility treatments financially, physically & emotionally exhausted, (and when SEX should be good will never be the same for them again), NEVER do get blessed with ONE child and finally accept to live child-free. And how they wish they had just 1, just 1 of your kids cuz they realise that they will miss out on life cycle factors like the first day of school, Mother's Day, it's watching your child graduate from uni, it's all the little things that people take for granted. And it's all these things that normal people live with and for somebody who can NEVER have children, their constant reminders of LOST in their lives.
I've had insensitive remarks said to my face MANY times for the past 2.5years from good friends, and even family members and how people have made jokes about our fertility situation and still it goes on. It hurts and I bite my tongue to lash out cuz I still love them. I would trade for the world to be blessed with beautiful kids like yours. You mentioned once how paranoid and lost you were when you lost your child in a shopping mall. I have endured LOST in that shopping mall for a child I will never know for the past 2.5years.
Sure, I understand about the weight lost. And I get about the pain about having to put on the pounds again and trying to lose it again. My weight has gone on a yo-yo for the longest time and now people have started commenting how big the boobs have gone and how big the tummy has gone too. It hurts and it stings ok? There is a life in me for f*!king crying out loud that I've longed for! So, I've shut them out entirely! But I've looked beyond that. Somebody told me this once: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.
That's his blessing that he has given to you and it is in a heavenly place right now - growing in your womb plus he has given you 4 beautiful children and an amazing husband too. So to those people who keep making those insensitive remarks, I'm sorry but they're lame and if they can't look beyond how beautiful having a child is, then too motherf*king bad.
I'll say it again with NO pity whatsoever - Congrats and I AM TRULY HAPPY FOR YOU. And I can't wait to see and hear more of baby number 4.
ps You may lose your body shape in time to come when you are preggy but your smile's all about SEX. :) And after this miracle is born, we can go on a diet together.
From someone who truly cares about you,
Pammie
Wow many long comments... so I would only say this:
Screw those insensitive idiots. I've always thought you look gorgeous period.
Congrats once again babe... *hugs tight*
i feel the love and the sisterhood ladies.
you have no idea how much strength i drew from your comments. this weekend, i was reached my lowest and i was ready to give up. but you guys put me back on track.
i'm taking it one day at a time. counting down to my second trimester which is when things usually get better.
i love you guys!
hey - who says that this pregnancy is going to affect that beautiful person that u have unveil just weeks back. i think its just perfect timing...
you are so going to kick ass and be a sexy peggy!
win
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