new hangout

i'm in need of a distraction, and i've decided to take it out on myself : )
i'm going to focus on me and try to polish some kinks.

i'll be hanging out at my other blog for a while.
join me when you can.

kissing = love

MB and i were watching nip/ tuck one night. he couldn't sleep and i was up ironing so i thot what the heck since i could have done with the company.

me : eeeiiiiwwwwww
MB : why? what's wrong
me : they are kissing
MB : but they are in love
me : just because they are kissing? what makes you think they are in love?
MB : of course they are in love mummy ..... THEY ARE KISSING!!! *roll eyes*

this is the recap in case you are interested and if you read it you'll know why i went eeiiiiiiwwwwwww.

thanks for the ride .... wwwwwwhat a rush!

i broke my one golden rule. colleagues are friends and not family. and now i am paying for it with a broken heart.

i've been waiting 7 years for a colleague like him for a male energy whom i could relate to. for years all i've had were female colleagues. all these high tension emotions that i'm not usually fond of or know how to manage. he related to my less feminine interests. someone i could talk to about soccer and wrestling and ... well ... man stuff.

we talked every day. he'd come to my cube and we'd make goofy faces at each other. give each other theme songs. create msn avatar theme weeks. talk nonsense and reminisce old school stuff. he was the rascal brother i never had. he took my work stress away. i'd like to think i returned the favour.

he always came to me with his problems and i was there to fix it. mostly work but sometimes about family. now i wish i listened harder when he spoke to me. i wish i picked up on the nuances of his sometimes hapless avatars. i wish i listened to my gut feelings. i wish i could have helped fix his problems. or at least try.

all i feel now is pain. i'm all cried out .... but it's not about me, it's about him.

i really hope you have found peace and that you are happier dude ... friend ..... brother. it's been quite a ride.

nothing

it's not that i have nothing to say. in fact i have plenty. i just wish i had the time to share it in this blog.

so many things are happening in my life which equals twice as many thoughts in my head coz i absolutely need to over-analyse everything. what happened to life and it's simple pleasures?

i feel like my brain is locked in helter-skelter mode. i'm so glad i've got hubs to keep me grounded. he makes me feel real; reminds me of what real life is all about.

just the other night, we managed to tuck the kids in bed by 9:30. we turned off the tv, and most of the lights, and were listening to old school 70's style music. there's something abt 70's music that just makes me wanna reach for my smokes.

anyways, we were standing at the kitchen window, smoking. the wind was indulging us with a gorgeous cool breeze and we just stood there talking. yes, just talking.

it was soooo good. we haven't talked in such a long time that it felt like we were catching up on life. i was reminded how very attractive the mind is. then all of a sudden, it became apparent again, why i wanted him in my life. why i chose him.

will you look at that ... i really did have something to say : )

fist of fury

it's crunch time at the office and everyone is tense. we have a mass casualty exercise coming this friday and next saturday. we are also up for renewing some ISO docs, which is a big deal. all these in a span of about 10 days. the stress is mounting, even in the best of us.

unfortunately, the tension is bringing out the worst in most. the anals have gotten more anal and the slackers are just asking to be victimised. i've found so many loose ends that every day i feel like an assassin, just waiting to straighten out my next target. i'm warning you, don't make me use my fists of fury y'all.

speaking of fists of fury, found this article on the net about how to make a powerful fist, aside from the norm. cool huh.