welcome to my pre-bday depression
this year, it has come pre-maturely ... my annual (and very personal) pre-bday mind f*ck. it's when i review my year and question my existence with emphasis on my failures. it is a time where i strip down to my core and leave my facades in the next room. when i am my most vulnerable. then when my bday does come, i am a stronger person. more so than before. it's called rebirth.my depession goes in phases. where i am at right now is "feeling alone in this world". no amount of love (even from my fav people) will be able to convince me that i am. because i feel different and because no one ever understands me ... i am alone in this world. BELIEVE ME. but i like being alone. so i guess, what i am really feeling is lonely ..... if I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?
maybe it's the full moon. btw, happy mooncake and haze festival! almost could not see the gorgeous moon coz of the blurry sky. damn waste.
posted by shoesthatfit @ 9:39 PM
5 Comments:
damn... *hugs tight*... I just got general life depression. Majority of the world's government's have lost the plot, and Mother Nature's snow-balling down the path of self-destruction... a trip started and egged on by the human population.
Eh maybe I'm having pre-bday depression too... can I lie with to forget the world and just watch the moon?
side-note... I still keep reading 'pre-bday' as 'pre-baby'... having that picture of with the pregnant lady does NOT help!
choi! dun curse me hor!
but cool pic right? i felt instantly, that it was a pictoral of my entry.
yes, lets lie under the moonlight and forget the world .......if only it weren't hazy.
i'll say it again ... damn waste!
It's very kewl... we could wait to mid oct... weather service says haze will clear thanks to monsoon ... having said that... we will then be rained out!
Ah well... we could always just stare out of the window...
Sometimes I dun even know that I am going thru depression.. at least you will recover and experience re-birth after a while.*how do you do it???* anything can hit me & cause me to feel low & small abt myself. then other things come & I will "feel" better.. or rather "forget" abt the pain.. then the cycle starts when something hits. Its scary to think if I had actually recover from the previous bout.. or when the next bout will come...
that's the beauty of depression. if you have sunk to an all time low, the only way is up. and hopefully, you are stronger by it : ).
chin up chickadee!
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