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16 July 2006

faith

i brought angel-girl to catechism class today and managed to get some alone time in church while she was learning abt the holy spirit. anyway, her take home message from class today was "the holy spirit is watching over us, day and night". sceptically, she reasoned with me,"how can the holy spirit watch over us when IT has no eyes!" it's called faith, i told her. believing that an omnipresent greater power is protecting and guiding over us. she remains unconvinced as i fail to explain the tangibility of what the holy spirit really is.

lately, i've been having a lot of problems with my faith. i'm not religious neither am i sacrilegious, but i do push my boundaries. isn't that the difference between christians and catholics. christians are faith abiding and publically live by the rules of the bible. (or at least they try very hard to) they are also very public with their faith. catholics believe in their personal jesus. the made-to-order kind where you make up your own rules as you go along. my friend and i were musing abt this the other day. she said that it's funny how it has turned out this way because it's actually catholism that preaches the public faith.

i wish i had half the faith my christian friends have. they praise god constantly and proudly. their belief is strong. a christian friend prayed over me the other day. i didn't ask for it but he did it with good intent. he pressed his eyes shut and prayed loudly for jesus to take my ezcema away saying that by HIS stripes i am healed. i wanted so much to believe in his conviction and prayer. instead i stood there silently mocking his fervent effort, feeling uncomfortable, waiting for him to wrap it up. i prayed for him to stop. my prayers were answered, his wasn't. and i feel it's because i lacked the faith.

today in church, while i sat in the corner alone (the way most catholics do), i listened to anonymous petitions offered to mother mary. some were in honour and praise others were cries for help. all faith is not lost, i thought to myself. today i prayed for faith. to have renewed faith in faith.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not all christians are like that. I am sometimes as uncomfortable as u when its become too public.

I think scorps are more reserved. maybe we feel its a personal r/s with God, so no need public also. righT?

No worries, u do not lack the faith. all catholics & christians have certain level of Faith if they can come to God. Dun self-condemn. Take ur time ya...

Sucker for pain - BL =)

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

funnily it was you who spurred me to write this when you said that you had faith that you'd catch the 97. i would have just said "fu*k!"

i still believe in the personal jesus. i just wish i had more faith in the religion as a whole. it's quite complex lah.

2:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So here's a question... are we supposed to have faith in God or in religion?

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes that's what i've been battling the past few days. coz i KNOW i believe in god. i'm sold on the personal jesus. but not so keen abt what the religion preaches and stands for. eg being christ-like. (and i'm not talking abt my hubs!) honestly do you want to give up all in this life for a better after life. i prefer the mantra of live every day like it's your last.

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

another one ... do i HAVE to love my neighbour??!! i'm a loner and i really don't want to talk to my neighbour. and worst ... be nice to this person. sheesh. will someone just pray for my soul!

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Erm.. .I think when the bible says love... it didn't mean in the hugs and kisses kinda way... just don't steal the guys stuff and don't dump him in the snack pit and that'll be fine.

Back to the 'public' vs 'personal' Jesus... I believe in a 'private' God .. besides... action speaks louder than words no? No point spouting 'praise' Jesus and then go off and bomb some abortion clinic.

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are taking a rather drastic turn. i'm just picking on the small stuff. btw, promise not to dump people in the snack pit ok. but could you show me where the snack pit is in case i get a massive craving for chips or something. : P

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:P ... I'm just taking an extreme example to make a point lah!

Eh.. meant snake pit... freudian slip... am desperately seeking snack pit... I heard that it's filled with calorie free snacks as well! :D

1:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Catholics are Christians and your post shows a limited understanding of Catholics and/or Christianity. Maybe you should learn about other forms of Christianity and then you'll have a better understanding.

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do tell. i'm all ears.

11:04 AM  

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