psychedelic love

i've been pregnant for 4.25 months, almost at the half way mark. i have to admit, the first 3 months were torture - emotionally and physically. but i'm in a good place now and am feeling better.

in fact, baby has been pumping me with feel good endorphins that i'm on a happy high all the time. as a scorp, these feelings that i'm evoking are just not natural.

i come from the dark side ... it's where i'm most comfortable, it's where i belong. morbidville. when i was carrying my two scorps, these feelings were perpetuated. i remember going for an egg-painting get-together at a friend's house and everyone was painting happy pictures on their eggs. i was obsessed with painting heaven and hell on mine. darkness with flames. it was strange, but it felt good.

but i digress, i seem to be in a happy place all the time now and so happily emotional too. IT'S JUST SO UNNATURAL! i cried when i watched obama's inauguration. damnit, i cry when i watch the gawky kids get a golden ticket to hollywood on american idol. sigh ... it's pathetic, but i can't control myself.

all i feel is love.