he says, she says

heard at a conference
"i'll try to keep the session funny and dramatic. the parts where you do not laugh, is the drama."

heard at home
"mummy, everytime you shout at me, my penis gets scared and i need to pee."

.... in the same night, the same person said ..
"i'm going to draw you a car-truck-aeroplane-shark with windows so that the people can wave outside."

heard over the phone (when talking to grandma)
"you're busy and tired. *laughs* that's the curse of motherhood"

heard at a funeral (as i was whining abt the being busy and tired)
"it's liddat. 3 kids is liddat. and don't think it will get any better as they grow up. the pain never goes away."